Walking The Twisted Line
by Shadowfax27
Summary: A confrontation between Eric and Ryan after the shootout freezing incident reveals an unexpected secret about Ryan’s relationship with his dead best friend, Speed. EricRyan Mild SLASH! COMPLETE!
1. A Picture Is Worth

**Walking The Twisted Line**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CSI: Miami. Just borrowing…blah, blah, blah…you get the picture. So don't sue.

**A/N:** This is only the second fanfic I've written (first slash ever), but the first one to be published online. Ironic, isn't it? But the crazy plot bunny bit me so freakin' hard today and won't let me go until I finally sat down and started typing.

**Beta-ed by: **Yours Truly! (All mistakes are mine.)

**Mild spoilers for S4 Episode: Driven and S3 Episode: Lost Son.** (I only saw Lost Son once, so I am going by what I remember from the episode and making up the rest of the details of the funeral as accurately as I can.) Pardon any errors or inaccuracies. After all, this is just a fanfic.

**Summary:** Eric confronts Ryan about freezing during the shootout and learns an unexpected secret about Ryan's relationship with his dead best friend (Speed). **Eric/Ryan Mild SLASH!** Don't like it, don't read it!

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Chapter 1 – A Picture Is Worth…

Eric Delko just completed the paperwork for the car-jacking case they were working on that day and was anxious to go home and get some much-needed sleep. Today had been an emotional roller coaster of a day for him. File in hand, he made his way through the halls of the Miami Dade Crime Lab to hand Horatio the finished report before heading out.

Horatio.

Ah, yes…Marisol's red knight in shining armor. The one who would brandish a sword…no, wait…a gun, and who would immediately come to his sister's rescue in his modern-day gray stallion of a Hummer. Come to think of it, his badge does resemble a sort of a shield, and…

He shook his head at the mental image it brought about in his head. He really did not need to think about Horatio in that kind of a costume.

He figured he'd call Marisol once he got home just to check how she was holding up and to see if she needed anything. He knew she would be safe in Horatio's place, and that the older man would take care of and would protect her. And even though he was a little wary of her budding relationship with his boss, he knew that he could trust Horatio with her life.

As he rounded a corner, he saw Dan Cooper walking out of the A/V Lab.

"Hey, Delko. You heading out?"

"Yeah…soon as I hand H this report," he replied, holding up the manila folder. "I heard you did some field work today."

"Yeah," Dan acknowledged with a smirk. "That was cool. Although I wouldn't say the same thing about Wolfe."

Frowning in confusion, Eric stopped to ask, "What?"

"You mean, you didn't hear?" Dan asked, returning a confused frown.

"Hear what?" Eric asked a bit testily.

"Chill, man. It was nothing," Dan replied casually. "I heard that Wolfe froze during the raid today, and boss man saved his ass. I was just teasing him about it a few hours ago, but he took it a little too personally and got pretty defensive, if you ask me. Nearly bit my head off."

Eric felt his blood pressure begin to rise and his heart begin to pound nervously in his chest. And he couldn't tell whether it was because of what could've happened to Ryan, or if it was because of Dan's nonchalant attitude about the whole incident. Maybe it was both.

Trying to stay calm, he managed to ask, "Did he say why he froze?"

"No, man," Dan replied. "He denied it actually…said he didn't have a clean shot, and that was that."

"Where is he now?"

Shrugging, Dan replied, "I don't know. But I thought I saw him heading towards the locker room."

Before Dan could say anything more, Eric whirled around in a fury and marched towards the locker room. He couldn't explain the nervous feeling he kept having or the rush of worry that suddenly overtook him. But he was pretty sure it might have had something to do with the team having experienced the heartache of losing one of their own…well, partly anyway.

It was bad enough to lose someone so close to him to a gunshot, but to have the same thing almost happen today? Especially within the span of two short years…

Shaking off the persistent flood of thoughts, Eric strode towards the locker room, shoving the doors open with force as he called out, "Wolfe!" Hearing no answer, he stalked towards the aisle where Ryan's locker was. "Wolfe!" he called again, but he found the room to be deserted.

Seething in frustration, he looked down and saw that he was still holding the manila folder in his hand.

"_Horatio." _he thought. _"Right…I'll go talk to H."_

Taking some deep, calming breaths, Eric made his way back through the lab and headed towards Horatio's office. He saw the red head sitting at his desk looking over some paperwork, and he knocked on the door.

Horatio looked up, "Come in, Eric."

Stepping in, Eric announced, "H, I've completed the report for today's car-jacking case."

"Thank you, Eric. Just leave it here, and I'll have a look at it in a minute," Horatio replied without looking at him.

Eric placed the folder on his desk, but instead of leaving, he just stood there, not knowing how to broach the subject with his boss.

Horatio noticed, and without looking up, he asked, "Is there something else that I can do for you, Eric?"

Uncertainly, Eric called him, "H?"

This time, the red head did look up and met his employee's concerned eyes, "What is it, Eric?"

"What happened today?"

Frowning slightly at the ambiguous question, Horatio replied, "If you're concerned about Marisol, she's – "

"No," Eric cut him off. "Not Marisol."

Now Horatio raised his eyebrows at him in question.

"Wolfe," Eric clarified. "What happened to him? During the raid?"

"Eric…" Horatio began slowly as he stood up, "I don't think I am at liberty to discuss that with you."

"H…" Eric turned a pleading look at his boss, "Please…I just want…" he stopped and composed himself before proceeding again, "I just…_need_ to know what really happened. Please."

Horatio studied the Cuban Russian for a moment, trying to figure out why in the world this was so important to him, as well as trying to gauge how much he should reveal about his youngest CSI.

Looking him straight in the eye, Horatio asked in a gentler tone, "What is this really about, Eric?"

Sighing, Eric bowed his head and turned away, not answering Horatio's question as he slowly trudged over towards one of the bookshelves inside the office. He stopped in front of the one that had four picture frames on one of the shelves. Mindlessly, he began to study each of the pictures.

The first frame on the far left held a picture of a younger-looking Horatio, his brother Raymond, Yelina, and a very young Ray Jr. during a family barbecue several years ago.

The second frame held a group picture of the original team. It was taken about three years ago in front of a local bar in celebration of cracking a tough case that had taken them over a month to solve: Horatio was on the far left standing next to Calleigh, who had that southern belle-ish kind of a smile on her face. In the middle was a grinning Alexx, who had a motherly arm wrapped around a laughing Speed. And right beside Speed was Eric, smiling happily, beer in hand.

A faint smile graced Eric's mouth, along with a slight pang of pain and loss. His gaze lingered just a little bit longer at the old picture as he thought about his dead best friend. God! How he missed him!

Aimlessly, he moved to look at the third frame containing the current CSI team. It was taken not too long after Ryan Wolfe started as a CSI. The picture was taken in front of an Italian Restaurant in downtown Miami and was in stark contrast to the previous one.

Eric stood on the far-left side, not bothering to smile at the camera. Next to him stood Alexx, who wore a tight smile on her face, then Calleigh, who did manage to wear a convincing smile. An uneasy Ryan stood next to Calleigh, a thin, forced smile that didn't reach his eyes was splayed on his face, and next to him was Horatio, who had lain an assuring hand on Ryan's shoulder.

He remembered Horatio taking the team out for dinner and drinks that night in an effort to 'bring Ryan into the fold.' And he remembered how awkward that night was for everybody, especially for Ryan, who could tell that his presence wasn't really a welcome one.

A pang of guilt shot through Eric as he recalled that night. He had to admire Horatio for making a concerted effort to make Ryan feel like he was part of the close-knit team. Calleigh had tried to extend her southern hospitality by making small talk. Alexx was still a bit cold towards the new kid, albeit the ice was slowly starting to chip away, and he… Well, he was too busy nursing his own beer, too busy seeing Ryan as a replacement, too busy thinking about not betraying Speed that he couldn't bring himself to talk to the new kid.

Horatio watched Eric intently as the young man silently studied the pictures. Soon, Eric's eyes fell on the last frame. It was a picture of Speed's funeral at the cemetery. Picking it up, Eric studied the photograph with care, remembering that fateful day when he had to suddenly say good-bye to his best friend forever.

In his mind, he could hear the sound of bagpipes playing 'Taps' as the Honor Guard raised their rifles in salute and prepared to fire. At the bottom center of the photo was his best friend's casket with the American flag draped ceremoniously over it, and a few feet behind it was a line of patrol officers in full Honor Guard uniform, saluting the fallen cop.

Unconsciously, Eric lifted the frame, studying the faces of each one of the officers on the Honor Guard lineup. When his eyes fell on the fourth person, he squinted his eyes and brought the photo closer to his face, trying to make sure that his eyes weren't deceiving him.

"Eric?" he heard Horatio call him, but he was too stupefied about what he was looking at to acknowledge his boss. "Eric?" he heard the red head call him again.

This time, Eric whirled around, his eyes wide with stunned realization and bewilderment as he faced Horatio, who, by now, had a faint smile of acknowledgement on his face.

"H…" Eric began, but his breath caught in his throat, unable to verbalize what he wanted to say. He swallowed audibly.

Horatio didn't reply, merely nodded in affirmation as an answer to Eric's unverbalized question. He knew what the young man was going to ask, and he knew that one day, he would eventually find out about this and that Ryan's secret would finally be revealed.

"Does this mean…?" Eric trailed off, not able to complete his conclusion.

"Yes, it does, Eric," Horatio replied matter-of-factly. "And it means a lot more than what that photograph is telling you."

Eric's head started to spin slightly at his boss's revelation. How could he not tell the team about this? How could he not tell _him_, of all people? Speed was his best friend for crying out loud!

"You knew?" he asked in breathless incredulity, still clutching the frame.

"I did," Horatio admitted simply.

"Why didn't you – ?" Eric began to ask, only to be cut off by Horatio's reply.

"It wasn't my secret to tell, Eric," Horatio replied calmly. "If Speed wanted you to know, he would've told you. And besides, Ryan specifically asked me not to tell anyone, and I respect his reasons and his decision to keep this under the table."

"But…why, H?" Eric asked, confused. "I don't understand why he doesn't want anyone to know."

"I could tell you the answer to that question, Eric," Horatio began, "But then again, it's not my place to tell."

"H, please…" Eric began to plead again, but Horatio would not budge.

Shaking his head as he looked at his CSI, Horatio offered this advice, "Talk to Ryan, Eric."

"Ryan?"

"It's his secret to tell, not mine."

"But what if he doesn't want to talk about it?"

"Then you need to respect his decision, and leave it at that."

"I can't, H. I don't know if I could just leave it alone now that I know about this."

Horatio stood up and walked towards him. Placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, he repeated, "Just talk to Ryan, Eric. All you can do is try."

Nodding in resigned acknowledgement, Eric replaced the frame in its original position on top of the shelf and proceeded to walk away. But just as he was about to open the door, Horatio called out.

"Oh, and Eric?"

"Yeah, H?"

"If you want to know what happened today, then I suggest you talk to Ryan about that, too."

With a thin smile, Eric replied, "Thanks, H."

And with that, Eric walked out of Horatio's office, out of the Miami Dade Crime Lab, and out into the late afternoon sun. He got into his car and started making his way towards Ryan's condo.

He knew he needed some answers from Ryan, not just about what happened during the raid today, but also about this new revelation he had just discovered 'accidentally' while studying the pictures in Horatio's office…yeah, especially about _that_ new piece of information.

Why didn't he notice this before? What kind of a CSI was he if he didn't even know about this bit of information about his best friend and his youngest team member? He shook his head, trying to keep his thoughts from going crazy over the questions that were currently bombarding his mind.

He knew that Ryan kept mostly to himself, and that he never talked much about his personal life. And what little he did divulge, he did so by choosing his words carefully, making sure that nothing slipped out unintentionally.

He had to somehow figure out how he would approach Ryan about this. He had to find out somehow. No…he _needed_ to find out. And if he could help it, he wasn't going to let Ryan brush this off that easily. He wasn't going to make it easy for the young CSI to drop this whole thing either.

Because right now, Eric Delko was on a mission…

And when he's on a mission, Eric Delko doesn't fail.

TBC 

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A/N: I know, I know…it's not clear yet what exactly Eric discovered from the photograph, what Horatio knows about Ryan and Speed, and what Ryan's secret is. I did that on purpose. But no worries…all of these will be answered in the next few chapters. Reviews are much loved! But no flaming please!


	2. Asking The Right Questions

**Title: Walking The Twisted Line 2?**

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **Mild R

**Genre: **Drama/Angst/Romance

**Disclaimer: **Don't own. Don't sue. Just borrowing…blah, blah, blah…get it?

**A/N: **This was supposed to be a oneshot…but complications from the damn plot bunny's bite turned this into a multi-chapter fic. Stupid plot bunnies!

**Spoilers: **Mild Spoilers for S4 Episode: Driven.

**Summary: **Eric confront Ryan about freezing during the shootout and learns an unexpected secret about Ryan's relationship with his dead best friend, Speed. Eric-Ryan Mild SLASH!

**Beta-ed by: **Me! (All mistakes are mine.)

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**Chapter 2 – Asking The Right Questions **

It was getting late in the day, and by the time Eric pulled in front of Ryan's condominium, the sun was beginning to disappear completely over the horizon. As it made a last effort to cast an orange glow over the brick home, Eric took a deep breath and then got out of the car. He walked up the path towards Ryan's front door, and stood there for a moment before knocking.

He wasn't entirely sure how he was going to confront Ryan about his secret. Of course, he could just bully the young CSI into talking, but their existing friendship is tenuous at best, and Eric figured it best not to put any additional strain in their relationship.

And so, reminding himself to stay calm, he took another deep breath before raising his hand and ringing the doorbell. He only hoped that Ryan wasn't too upset about the whole 'freezing' thing to talk.

"_Freezing…right." _Eric thought suddenly as an idea hit him. _"I'll just ask him about that first."_

He heard footsteps approaching the door and knew that Ryan would look through the peephole. And after what seemed like an eternity of hesitation, he heard the young man finally unlock his door, only to open it warily, surprise and a frown of confusion evident on his face.

"Eric?" Ryan asked suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh…" Eric began uncertainly, "I…I heard about what happened today…at the chop shop."

At this, Ryan crossed his arms defensively, his expression changing from a confused frown to that of an indignant glare.

"_Great! Perfect!" _he thought in annoyance. _"Just what I need to wrap up this day – Eric Delko coming to my home to rub this in my face."_

Sensing the bubbling tension between them, Eric quickly tried to diffuse the situation.

"Listen, Ryan," Eric began in earnest. "I'm not here to rub what happened today in your face or to give you a hard time about it. I just…" he trailed off, not sure how to tell Ryan the real purpose of his unannounced visit.

"What, Eric?" Ryan asked, still suspicious. "You just what?"

Eric looked up and met the young man's eyes, "I just wanted to talk," he replied tiredly.

Ryan was caught off guard by Eric's demeanor. He had fully expected Eric to yell at him and to throw this back at his face. Tired as he was, he had even prepared himself mentally for the onslaught of Eric's verbal attacks, ready to defend himself against anything that his co-worker might throw at him.

But this…

This threw Ryan completely off-guard, and for a moment, he stared at Eric through narrowed eyes, unsure whether to believe him or not.

To Eric's relief, however, the young CSI's expression began to soften in understanding. But that relief was short-lived as Ryan abruptly turned his back on Eric. And without so much as a word of invitation, Ryan left him standing in front of the half-opened door and disappeared upstairs into his bedroom.

For a moment, Eric was unsure whether or not Ryan was letting him in.

"_Well, he did leave the door open…"_ he thought as he slowly stepped inside and quietly shut the door behind him.

His eyes immediately began to assess Ryan's place as he stepped out of the foyer and into the simple yet immaculate living room. He had only been by Ryan's place once…when he gave him a ride from the hospital after he got shot by a nail gun. And even then, Ryan only wanted to be dropped off at his door and didn't bother to invite Eric inside.

Eric might've taken offense to this had it not been for the fact that he knew Ryan simply wanted to rest. And so, he didn't bother to push the issue…especially when they had just declared an uneasy 'truce' at the time, deciding to bury the hatchet for the sake of their working relationship.

As he walked through the living room, noting the unmistakable evidence of Ryan's OCD in the way his books, CDs, and DVDs were meticulously organized, Eric wondered briefly where his young co-worker had gone off to. He only hoped that he had read Ryan's signal correctly, and that he was not intruding into his home.

Unbeknownst to Eric, however, Ryan had quietly come down from his bedroom and was now standing at the foot of the stairwell, silently watching Eric's every move with intent eyes.

"_Might as well get to the bottom of this," _Ryan thought as he stepped into the living room. "Can I get you anything to drink?" he asked politely.

Slightly startled, Eric whirled around to find Ryan standing not two feet behind him with his arms crossed.

"Damn, Wolfe!" Eric breathed out as he clutched his chest in surprise. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Well, this is my home, Eric," Ryan pointed out sarcastically.

Backtracking, Eric replied, "I know that…it's just. Nothing," he shook his head. "You just startled me, that's all."

A small smirk tugged at the corners of Ryan's mouth, and unable to help himself, he let out a soft chuckle. Relieved, Eric chuckled as well as he felt the tension in the room ease up a bit.

"Would you like something to drink, Eric?" Ryan finally asked again.

"Sure…" Eric replied. "Beer would be fine."

And with that, Ryan headed towards the kitchen, and pulled out two bottles of beer from the fridge. Walking back into the living room, he handed one to Eric before sitting down on the couch. Following Ryan's lead, Eric sat down on the loveseat, so he could face Ryan a little more.

Both men sat in silence for a few minutes, nursing their own beers, as each tried to figure out who would speak first. To Eric's relief, however, Ryan decided to break the deafening silence.

"So…" Ryan began hesitantly. "You said you wanted to talk."

"Yeah, I did."

"So talk," he replied as he took another swig of his beer.

Keeping the bottle in his hands, Eric lowered his eyes and tried to think about what to say. He could feel Ryan's intent stare upon him, and for the first time, he felt slightly intimidated and didn't dare to look up.

"What happened at the chop shop today, Ryan?" Eric finally asked without looking at the younger man.

He heard an audible sigh before Ryan responded, "I don't know."

Looking up incredulously, Eric asked, "You don't know?"

Ryan simply shook his head, "I don't know, Eric."

"Can you walk me through what happened?" Eric pressed.

With a sigh, Ryan elaborated, "We were at the chop shop getting ready to make a bust. Horatio was in front, I was behind him, and SWAT was right behind me. We split off, and made the charge. SWAT quickly filtered in and neutralized the workers. I had my gun drawn, and then out of nowhere…" Ryan trailed off and shut his eyes, unable to verbalize the memory of what happened.

"Ryan?" Eric's gentle voice called out to him. "Ryan? Are you okay?"

Swallowing thickly, Ryan nodded, "I'm fine."

"So you had your gun drawn but then Tanner came out of nowhere with a shotgun," Eric continued for him.

Nodding, Ryan replied, "Yeah. I heard one of the SWAT yell, 'Gun!' and when I looked up, I saw him cock his gun and point it at me."

"And then what happened?" Eric pressed gently.

Silence and then…

"Nothing."

"Wh-? Nothing?"

Sighing in exasperation, Ryan replied, "That's exactly what happened, Eric… Nothing."

"Ryan…" Eric began, but Ryan cut him off.

"Eric, I don't know what happened, okay? _Nothing_ happened…I just…froze," he finally confessed.

"And you can't…"

"No. I can't explain it," Ryan admitted, shaking his head.

"Did this have anything to do with your eye?" he asked hesitantly, knowing that this was a touchy subject with his colleague.

"No…but somehow, I wish it did this time."

"Did you have a clean shot?"

At this, Ryan set his beer down on the coffee table and leaned back against the couch as he let out a frustrated sigh, wincing slightly at the thought, "Yes."

"And Horatio?"

"He saved my ass, Eric," Ryan stated simply, and his voice was devoid of any emotion. "He shot Tanner before he could shoot me."

"And told you that you didn't have a clean shot," Eric concluded for him, knowing exactly how Horatio would try to protect his team.

"Yes. And that's exactly what I told Stetler during the investigation."

"And he believed you?" he asked curiously.

"I think he might've been a little suspicious at first, but I stuck to my answer, and he let it go…well, eventually." Then, turning curious eyes on Eric, he asked, "How did you find out anyway?"

"Cooper," came Eric's short and loaded reply.

"Ah, the king of office gossip," Ryan said, a hint of resentment lacing his voice. "Leave it to him to spread the dirt about everyone around the lab."

Sighing, Eric tried to encourage the young CSI, "Happens to the best of us, Ryan."

Snorting at Eric's comment, Ryan replied, "Now you sound like Calleigh."

"She talked to you too, huh?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"The locker room, after shift, right before she left."

"And Alexx?"

"No," Ryan shook his head definitively. "I got out of there as fast as I could. I knew she would've heard about it and would've definitely freaked out. I didn't want her to mother hen me any more than she had to, so I didn't bother to say good-bye. I just wanted to get out and go home."

Chuckling slightly at Ryan's admission, Eric replied, "Yeah, I would've done the same thing."

Silence descended upon them again as Eric tried to digest what little information Ryan did tell him. He was still consumed with his own thoughts when Ryan's voice interrupted his musings.

"Eric?"

Looking up into the young man's eyes, he saw the same confused frown he wore when he first opened the door reappear again.

"Why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to find out what happened at the chop shop," Eric replied, trying to sound matter-of-factly.

He knew that that wasn't the only reason why he had come, though, but it was _part _of the truth, so it still had to count for something…right?

"Bullshit," Ryan called him on it.

Right.

So, maybe it didn't count as much as he had hoped…but he could still try.

"That's not the whole reason, and you know it," Ryan pointed out. "So why are you really here, Eric?" Ryan asked again, aggravation beginning to tint his already exasperated tone. "Because I'm sure you have better things to do than to find out what went wrong with me today."

Setting his bottle down on the coffee table this time, Eric finally looked his colleague in the eye.

"You're wrong, and you're right," he began carefully. "Originally, I did want to talk to you about what happened at the chop shop today, to find out why you froze."

"But?" Ryan prodded questioningly.

Watching the young man's face intently, Eric replied, "But then I couldn't find you at the lab. You had already left, and so I spoke to Horatio."

"Horatio?" Ryan asked in confusion.

"Yeah…I told him I wanted to…" Eric trailed off, shaking his head. "No. I told him that I _needed _to know what happened, but he wouldn't tell me anything," Eric admitted. "And then he asked me what my questions were really about, and…" he trailed off once again, feeling his mouth become dry.

"And?" Ryan prodded uncertainly.

"I don't know, Ryan." Eric finally admitted after what seemed like a very pregnant pause. "Maybe it was the thought of losing another colleague to a gunshot in such a short time. Maybe I got scared because I didn't want to have to go through that…experience again."

Ryan shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to make sense of what Eric was telling him. Had he been wrong about Eric? Why did it sound like he cared about him all of a sudden? Didn't this guy hate him for replacing Speed? Doesn't he still hate him even though they've unofficially decided to bury the hatchet between them?

Wouldn't he be happier if Ryan was to vanish from the face of the earth? Shouldn't he be thrilled about his 'freezing' incident? Was he just reading him wrong?

Maybe there was something hidden between the lines…

Or maybe there was nothing.

"I'm fine, Eric," Ryan finally managed to say again, but with stern resolve this time. The last thing he wanted was for Eric to feel sorry for him. "Is that everything?" he asked coolly.

Caught off guard by the sudden change in Ryan's attitude, Eric replied, "No."

"Eric, if you have something to say, I suggest you say it now," Ryan said rather testily.

"Fine," Eric huffed. "There is something else that I wanted to talk to you about."

"And what is that?"

"Speed," Eric replied curtly as he studied Ryan's expression.

Frowning, Ryan asked, his heart beginning a rapid pounding in his chest, "Speed?"

"Yeah," came his short reply.

"Wait…" Ryan shook his head in confusion, "Speed?"

"You heard me."

"_Now why the hell would he want to talk about Speed? Unless…"_ he thought. _"Bastard!"_

Squaring his jaw in defiance, Ryan grated out sarcastically, "Oh…I get it. You're here to compare me to Speed, aren't you? What? It's not good enough that I froze up today during the raid? You had to come here and tell me how Speed would never have done what I did?" he asked, his voice rising in righteous indignation, his eyes flashing with anger.

"What? No!" Eric denied vehemently. "Ryan, calm down. Please! That's not what I meant."

"Oh, really? And what exactly did you mean, Eric?" Ryan asked, not bothering to hide his anger.

"I didn't come here to compare you to Speed, Ryan."

"Then why _did _you come here?" Ryan asked exasperatedly.

"I came because I discovered something…" he trailed off again, not knowing how to proceed.

"What, Eric?" Ryan asked tiredly. "What did you discover this time?"

Swallowing thickly, Eric replied, "I discovered something in Horatio's office, Ryan. Something about you."

"Me?" Ryan frowned again, his mind racing to figure out what exactly Eric had discovered about him. He was obviously perplexed by his colleague's answer.

"Yeah…you."

"And?" Ryan asked uncertainly.

"And…" Eric sighed. This was it. He wanted answers from Ryan, and this was his chance to bring it up. With a trembling breath, he looked at the younger man, and replied, "…and I discovered something about Speed, too."

"What?"

"You and Speed," Eric stated. "I discovered something about both of you."

At Eric's revelation, Ryan's eyes suddenly grew wide with shock as he felt his chest begin to constrict painfully.

"_No…it can't be…this can't be happening to me!"_

----

TBC 


	3. Stranded Revelations

**Title: Walking The Twisted Line 3?**

**Author: **Shadowfax27

**Pairing: **Eric/Ryan

**Rating: **Mild R

**Genre: **Drama/Angst/Romance

**Disclaimer: **Don't own. Don't sue. Just borrowing…blah, blah, blah…get it?

**Summary: **Eric confront Ryan about freezing during the shootout and learns an unexpected secret about Ryan's relationship with his dead best friend, Speed. Eric-Ryan Mild SLASH!

**Beta-ed by:** Me! Oh, pick me! Pick me! (And that means…all mistakes are mine.)

**A/N: **This was supposed to be a friggin' oneshot…but complications from the damn plot bunny's bite turned this into a multi-chapter fic. Stupid plot bunnies!

**-----**

Chapter 3 – Stranded Revelations

"_No…it can't be…this can't be happening to me!"_

Trying to keep himself collected enough, Ryan willfully squashed down the panic that was threatening to blow up inside his chest. How in the hell did his day and night suddenly turn into this…catastrophe?

He had to get the control back or he would seriously lose it. He can't afford to let Eric Delko's still-empty accusations rile him up, especially when he hadn't even revealed what exactly he had discovered in Horatio's office…although Ryan was pretty sure he already had a good idea what he might have seen.

No. There was no sense in giving his secret away that easily.

No sense at all.

Without breaking eye contact, Ryan returned Eric's stare with equal intensity, while skillfully managing to calm his nerves down enough to speak.

"And what exactly did you discover about Speed and me?" he asked, surprising himself with how evenly his voice came out.

Instead of responding, Eric stood up once again and walked slowly, even tiredly, towards Ryan's fireplace, as he shoved his hands in his pockets. How exactly was he supposed to phrase his discovery and confront Ryan without pushing him too hard?

Maybe he could bluff his way out of it. Maybe Ryan would take the bait and tell him exactly what he wanted to know without actually having to pry it out of him.

But what if this was all nothing?

And then, he remembered Horatio's words in his office just over an hour ago…

"…_it means a lot more than what that photograph is telling you."_

"_It means _more_," _he thought to himself. _"There has to be something more if Horatio didn't deny it."_

He knew that Ryan was undoubtedly staring at him, watching his every move. He could feel his piercing eyes burning a hole on his back as he once again found himself mindlessly studying the photographs inside the frames…only this time, they were Ryan's pictures that were sitting on the mantle on top of the fireplace instead of Horatio's.

Eric was about to turn around and face Ryan once more when he caught sight of an almost familiar-looking picture sitting on the far left side of the mantle. Quickly grabbing the frame from its place, Eric squinted to study it more closely as the butterflies in his stomach swiftly ignited into a full fluttering frenzy.

"_This looks familiar…" _he thought as he tried to jog his memory.

Meanwhile, back on the couch, Ryan felt himself beginning to panic once more as he watched Eric study the incriminating photograph. And try as he might, he couldn't seem to squash down the new wave of anxiety that was suddenly washing over him at the thought that he would finally be found it.

The day of reckoning for Ryan Wolfe had finally come.

Yes. In a matter of seconds, Eric Delko would see right through both photographs, connect the dots, and reveal the secret he had so jealously guarded for almost two years now. And Ryan knew that once his secret was out, he wouldn't be able to deny it, and he would most certainly be forced to admit it.

And soon enough, Ryan Wolfe would have to explain everything – including himself.

The frame contained a photograph of a funeral service, much like the one in Horatio's office…only it was shot from a different angle. The casket was still front and center, but angled slightly. Whoever snapped the picture was obviously standing near the bottom right corner of the casket.

The American flag, which was draped over it before, was now gone.

As he studied the picture closely, he could see Horatio, Calleigh, Alexx, and himself sitting behind the casket, somber expressions painted all over their weary faces. The photo also captured Tim's parents, who were sitting next to Horatio, as they graciously received the folded flag from one of the officers.

The photograph's angle also cut out most of the officers on the Honor Guard lineup, except for the first seven, as they stood still, saluting their fallen comrade. And as Eric studied the faces of each of the officers once again, there appeared the familiar and solemn face of…

"_Son of a bitch!"_

Whirling around in furious disbelief, Eric stared down at his young colleague as he felt the blood rush through his veins, all the way to his head. He could hear the ringing in his ears as all of a sudden, things began to add up, and some things that he was unsure of before were now quickly corroborated by two, almost-identical, and stranded images in time.

Confirmation.

"You…" he began, but was unable to utter anything else as the full weight of what he had just discovered earlier and confirmed at this very moment came crashing down on him.

"Me…" Ryan simply pointed out. He was surprisingly calm despite the raging storm he was experiencing inside.

"You…" Eric began again. "…and Speed." His mouth felt dry all of a sudden, and he licked his lips before forcibly swallowing down the lump that seemed to have formed out of nowhere in his throat. "You were at Speed's funeral, weren't you?" he finally managed to ask the all-important question.

But Ryan didn't respond; his expression was unreadable.

"This picture…" Eric said, holding up the frame in his hand. "…I saw a similar picture today in Horatio's office, and you…" he trailed off again, breathless in his realization.

Taking a few steps toward Ryan, the Cuban Russian finally gathered his nerves to reveal what he had discovered.

"You were in both pictures, Ryan," Eric stated. "At first, I couldn't believe it, but I examined both of these photographs, and sure enough, there you were, standing there in you uniform."

Ryan neither denied nor acknowledged Eric's statement. He simply stared at Eric blankly, trying to keep his poker face on, trying to see if he could get out of having to admit to anything.

But Eric was persistent, and he continued, "You were there during Speed's funeral, Ryan. And you were the fourth person in both of the pictures. You were in the Honor Guard lineup that saluted and fired the remembrance shots for Speed."

And still, Ryan didn't answer, nor did his expression change even though he was beginning to feel the sting of tears prickling the corners of his eyes. No! He would keep his game face on and hold himself together. He would not allow Eric Delko to see him cry. He refused to be seen as weak, as anything less of a man.

Dropping his voice tiredly, Eric concluded softly, "You knew him all along, didn't you, Ryan? You knew more about Speed than you had originally lead all of us to believe. You didn't just know him as the CSI who was shot in the line of duty…you knew him as a friend."

Standing up without averting his eyes, Ryan finally managed a cool and calculated reply, "Congratulations, Delko. You finally figured it out."

And with that, Ryan abruptly turned his back, intending to walk away and to kick his unwanted visitor out of his home. But before he could even take a couple of steps, Eric grabbed his arm, and jerked him back to face him.

"Ryan, wait!" Eric called as he suddenly found himself gripping both of Ryan's arms.

"Get your hands off of me, Delko," Ryan hissed, his eyes burning with liquid fury.

"No!"

"Look, you got your answer," Ryan pointed out. "What more do you want from me?"

"I want to know why."

"That's a loaded question," Ryan muttered sarcastically.

Still gripping Ryan's arms, Eric asked, "Why did you keep this a secret, Ryan? Why didn't you tell the team that you were friends with Speed?"

"Would you have believed me if I told you?" Ryan challenged.

He knew that having that friendship with Speed under his belt would be a double-edged sword: on the one hand, the team could both believe him and accept him immediately, but then he would not be able to shake off the feeling like he was misusing his friendship as some sort of a leverage to help him in his career; on the other hand, the team could simply choose not to believe him, turn on him, and then accuse him of trying to weasel his way into their close-knit circle by using his so-called 'friendship' with Speed as a malicious leverage.

No…he didn't want to chance either one of these scenarios, and he never wanted to. And that was why he chose to go the route he was on.

"Or would you have accused me of misusing Speed's precious memory?"

Eric was slightly taken aback by the honest questions. And really, he himself didn't know whether he would've believed Ryan if he were to tell them that he knew Speed as more than just a casual acquaintance, as more than just the fallen CSI…especially since he couldn't recall Speed ever having mentioned anything about Ryan to him.

Undeterred by Ryan's questions, Eric pressed on, "Don't make this about me, Ryan. You're the one who _lied_ to the team."

At this flagrant accusation, Ryan's eyes flared red in fury and he angrily ripped his arms away from the older man's grasp before shoving him with enough force to send him stumbling back (and luckily) on the floor.

"Don't you _dare_ accuse me of lying to the team, Delko!" Ryan exploded furiously, unleashing his wrath on his shell-shocked colleague. "Did you really think I would stoop so low as to bring up my friendship with Speed for my own benefit? For my own ambition?"

Standing up slowly, Eric could only look at his furious colleague in bewildered shock as he listened to Ryan rant about the reasons why he chose to keep his friendship with Speed a secret.

"Did it never occur to you that I might have just wanted a level playing field? Did it never occur to you that I simply wanted to do a good job and to prove myself the right way just like everyone else? To prove that I could be a good CSI? That I didn't want to be treated differently or be given an unfair advantage simply because I had a fairly close relationship with the CSI, whose vacant position I happened to fill?"

"Ryan, I…" Eric stuttered, not knowing what to say as he slowly began to comprehend everything from Ryan's point of view. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Of course, you didn't!" Ryan practically yelled. "That's the whole point, damn it! You didn't know because you weren't _supposed_ to. You didn't know because you were supposed to treat me like any regular colleague. But no…you were too damn busy seeing me as Speed's replacement! You couldn't look past the blinders in you eyes, and you couldn't see me as the guy who was just trying to do a good job because he's proud of what he does. You couldn't see me as anything more than just the guy who could never measure up to Speed because I'll always be just a stand-in, because you couldn't bear to give me the chance to just be me without comparing me consciously or subconsciously to your best friend!" he shouted bitterly.

By now, Ryan felt slightly winded as his chest panted heavily with every hot and angry breath. Slightly composing his already frayed nerves, he looked at Eric intently before addressing him again, and this time, more calmly.

"All I ever wanted was to do a good job," he repeated softly, but with no-less resolve. "I just wanted to be seen as Ryan Wolfe, CSI…not Speed's Replacement, or 'the guy who got the right break because he was Speed's friend.' I just…" Ryan trailed off this time, trembling and feeling drained all at once.

And Eric could tell that Ryan was dangerously close to the breaking point. He knew that Ryan had been hurt by the team (and the lab), but especially by him, and that right now, he was trying his damned hardest not to break down in front of his colleague.

"I'm sorry, Ryan," Eric finally managed to utter after Ryan had quieted down. "I'm so sorry for everything…" he trailed off as he found himself being propelled by his own two feet towards the young CSI.

And before he could think about what he was doing, Eric found himself gathering Ryan into his arms as the once-furious young man wearily leaned against his chest, all the fight in him gone. He felt Ryan's sobbing and trembling form against his body and tightened his hold on him.

"Shhh…" was all Eric could say as he felt warm, wet tears staining his shirt and felt Ryan's ragged, hot breath against his neck.

He wasn't sure what to do or how this new revelation would affect their current relationship, but right now, he didn't really care. All he could think about was that there was a lot more to Ryan than what he had given him credit for, a lot more to him that still remains a mystery.

And he would be the first to admit that he wouldn't be opposed to getting to know him more and maybe even forge a real friendship with him someday, such as the one they both had with Speed.

Because for the first time since he met Ryan Wolfe, Eric Delko finally understood what it felt like to live in the young CSI's shoes: Ryan had crossed the strained and sometimes volatile boundary between Patrol and CSI; he had filled in the vacant spot of a beloved CSI and friend; he had tried to prove himself worthy of Horatio's hand-picked honor through his solid work ethic; and he had tried to earn his colleague's trust and respect by proving himself to be a damn good CSI and foregoing the much easier road of telling them about his relationship with Speed.

In other words, Ryan dared to live outside the realm of ease, and chose, instead, to live his life unflinchingly on his own terms regardless of the repercussions. And despite what Eric might've previously thought about the young man, he had to at least admire him for his unwavering resolve because…

Ryan Wolfe walked the twisted line.

_**TBC?**_

----

**A/N: **I'm debating whether I should leave this story as is or continue and let Ryan explain to Eric how he and Speed became friends. If I continue, it would definitely take some time to update, as I want to get back to working on my original fic. I don't know…what do you guys think?

_Oh, yeah…And in case anyone was wondering, this is not the original fic that I've been working on for over a year now. I'm still working on that one and will hopefully post the first few chapters on my LJ sometime next week. This is just something quick and fun to write on the side as inspiration hits me._

_(Yeah, I know…I'm doing exactly what you guys advised me not to do. But what can I say? Sometimes, you can't help but write more than one fic at a time! Can I get an Amen?) _XD


	4. Author's Note

**Walking The Twisted Line**

**Author's Note: **First off, I apologize for the lack of update in a while, considering how fast I was able to post the first 3 chapters. I've been extremely busy and haven't had the time to follow up on this story. Plus, I've been working on my original Ryan/OC fic, which I have been dying to post for a while now (still working on that, though). So needless to say, my time has been divided as of late.

Anyway, I've decided to actually close out Walking the Twisted Line at only 3 chapters, but have no fear! I am going to continue this story in a sequel under a different title (which I'm still trying to come up with), and I will explore how Ryan and Speed met and became friends without the 'knowledge' of the rest of the CSI's (except Horatio).

Thanks to everyone who read the story and to the four people who were kind enough to leave a review! It means the world to me as a new fanfic writer!

**CSIM Fan: **_Thanks for all the wonderful chapter reviews!_

**Roses: **_I'm glad you enjoyed the emotional play between Eric and Ryan. More angst and emotional interactions between the boys to come…so stay tuned!_

**Zuza: **_Thanks for loving this story! You will find out soon enough. Heh-heh!_

**Prue: **_Thank you! I plan on letting the girls know about Ryan's secret, and some things that happened in the past with Speed will begin to make sense for them once they put some things together._

**Angel32 and Prinsessa: **_I am honored that this story is one of your favorites! bows_

**_Stay tuned for the Sequel, and watch out for my new RyanOC fic (which I might turn into a series if it gets too long):_ The Slow Heat To Heaven: The Taste of Promises.**


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